Monday, February 4, 2013

MY husband is NOT my babysitter.

 Lets face it Mama's! We've all been there. Husband walks in the front door and without  a "hi love how was your day" you throw him the baby, tell him the toddler has popped, needs a bath & over fed the fish, the dog may or may not have eaten a box of chocolate Santa looking things ohh... and the older kid needs help with a science project due thursday, its tuesday. Your out the door.

Or how about you this.
You have weekend planned with girlfriends, your leaving and have everyhting planned out for your family while your gone, dinner lunch... breakfast. Laundry is all clean, house is okay but its like whateveeeer they're going to mess it up! (lol) Seriously though you've left it with checklist of who takes a bath and when! Not even a poopy diaper without Mama knowing am I right girl? i know there is one of you ocd bicthes out there! I was one of t hem!  I use "was" very.. very lightly haha.  He (assuming your married to a man ) wont have to do a thing while your away and you like that, lets face it, cuz he wont be fucking up all your shit, right? Putting clothes on the wrong hanger, than in the wrong spot in the closet! How can he not see I have the shirts in sleeve length order!?! (lol maaaan women are nuts! makes me seriously wonder why some are lesbians! Im like HELLO! YOu know what species we are- WHY ARE YOU doing that to yourself!?!)

There's the Mom that just deuces out, she's like.. Ive had enough! She's already in the car as her husband pulls in the driveway! There's naked kids running around, oreos and cheese crackers rubbed into the leather sofa and who knows where all the pots and pans are. You've got to be asking yourself how in the hell does this  happen? I know I have. It happens like a snowball.  you neglect what seems like a simple small task, and you end up with a mother fuckin avalanche! seriously.  no joke. ive see it happen before my very eyes in a matter of6 months a 12 year marriage went down like a storm and Im sure its just the middle still... not even the bad part of the storm has passed.

you've heard happy wife, happy life.right? Its true. personally, i feel like Im an outstanding wife (DUH! haha) Im demanding, I keep a schedule and Im a bitch while doing it. I try my hardest to be as poilte as possible when Im being a bitch.. I swear. Its like... word vomit! When I say its time to leave  and the kids are still running around our friends house, and my husband is sitting there with his beer still half full Im like "Hey, drink that shit, lets go" Our friends have actually said wow your bossy. Whoa, hold that horse, what? Mother f-er, its taken me YEARS to get to where I am with the soldier, and a year ALONE with them while he was gone (he literally just got home less than a week ago, hence why I finally get to blog!) I keep my husband and kids on a schedule to keep our life HAPPY. I dont get overly stressed that way. I know that I can spend the evening with my husband doing whatever we like.. cuz our children take baths right after dinner and know when bed time is. I can keep my husband pleased this way, every night. Cuz you know, if you arent doing it, some other bitch is. it may look like i run this shit, and let me tell you, looks are deceiving.

the wife is the glue in which keeps the family together.... but the husband is the maker of that glue. When he stops, she falls apart.

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